Ok, so I’m going to Kill my Roommate.

9 thoughts on “Ok, so I’m going to Kill my Roommate.”

  1. If it bothers you so much maybe you ought to live alone. Clearly you two have different attitudes toward communal living, and it’s doubtful that you’ll ever get to an agreement. I can understand both sides, but the fact is there are actually more people out there like your roommate and you’re not likely to get someone who meets your needs next time. Try a low-budget studio situation and see how it works.

  2. I know exactly how you feel!!! I have two roommates just like yours! Mine do not know the concept of picking up after themselves, let alone even wiping up the spills they make all over the kitchen after I just mopped. And for all the people who replied that the clean freaks need to get a life, this is for you…..I clean up my apt because I care about my things and want to keep them nice..I like to live in an area that I can walk into without catching a disease or being bitten by a large insect or small animal that is there to eat the trash thats all over the apt. It extememely immature to leave a mess in a common area thats used by others….how hard is it to pick up after yourselves!?!?!? You dont live at home anymore, your mom is not here to do it for you…and what are you going to do when u get out of school and buy a place of your own?? trash it until it just needs to be burned down and then move to a new place, only to trash it?….

  3. Listen, I have a roommate like you right now and I would love to fix the two of you up together. I don’t care that she is a neat nik, but she is royal pain in the ass about it. It’s either her way or no way. How about you putting your charged toothbrush in your own room in its own plug. How is it the plug was designated to you (alone) in the first place?? You two are NEVER going to be alike or agree on much. You are Felix and Oscar. Be REALLY grateful she pays the bils on time. Lots of people don’t and that is far worse than her room not being as tidy as you want yours to be, MOM.

    Get a life, kid or another roommate. You are two control freaks. Not everybody has to obey you. We’re grown ups now and I’ll put the knife and dishes in the dishwasher however the hell I want. You should write a rules for loading the dishwasher book…..lol……you are a real riot. Too bad the whole world won’t jump as high as you want and on time too. My heart realy bleeds for you. I have to ask this…….Do you count how many dishes you have every night – just in case she broke one and didn’t tell you. If you say yes, you have a sister, honey.
    Good luck .. she’s not the problem. Good thing you have a mirror – you probably spend a lot of time in front of it.

  4. You know, if you would just lighten up life would be SO much easier. Why was it your roommate’s responsibility to close YOUR bedroom door anyway? If you have problems with her not doing anything, assign chores and don’t do yours till she does hers. If the neatness level is a little less than ideal for you…TOUGH! Things WILL get done, just not on your precious little time scale. Seems like she’s willing to give a little so why can’t you? I’ve had roommates like you before. I had to walk on eggshells: never leave anything of mine in any common area for any amount of time, take less than my fair share of bathroom time, relegate my food to only one shelf in the fridge, etc.

    I was too nice–or to weak–to protest. Maybe your past roommates were too.

    Please grow up, or you will not be worthy for meaningful human contact.

  5. With school starting soon I can imagine there are a lot of people looking for a nice clean roommate like you – tell her it’s time to go. What do you have to lose? (other than an ungrateful roomie…) 🙂

    When looking for a new roommate make the house rules clearly known as one of the conditions of living in the space. Make the info as essential as rent or bills.

    Good luck!

    (that washroom/mirror system is a great idea!)

  6. Well then, sounds like quite a pickle. Do you have weapons? You can obviously fire a gun, but that’s a little indelicate for this situation. No, you need to introduce her to a gang of hispanic gang-members! After they beat her into submission, they will rape her! But this is not the end of the ordeal—fuck no! During the rape they’ll keep her eyes open with toothpicks and make her watch videos of open windows, dirty dishes, generally everything that you dislike.

    When they finally drop her semen-filled ass on the street (somewhere not _too_ bad. After all, she will be in a delicate frame of mind) she’ll be full of mortal terror. This is when you give her the drugs and start convincing her that you’re an angel. Or hire an actor. Even if you wear the wings, she might see through your disguise. So, then, once she’s convinced you (or the actor) are/is an angel, you tell her that this happened for a reason. Is she religious? Well, if she isn’t, maybe you could substitute the appropriate authority figure for an angel. Anyway.

    OK, so, then you tell her that to avoid any further rape/torture by hispanics that she just needs to stop being such a weirdo vis-a-vis housework, etc.

    Of course, you could try to go the understanding route and “write her a note” or “talk to her”, but, fuck it, is she worth the time? It doesn’t sound like she is. Remember, she’s only alive because you haven’t killed her.

  7. I like my roommate. 🙂

    On the upside, I’m also a pushy brat and if there was a problem, she’d be the first to know. Of course, we’re both pretty good about that. 🙂

  8. This reminds me of why I live alone.

    You need to talk to her. If need be (like, if her attention span is too short for her to sit down with you while you go over your expectations), write her a note. Hell, write her a note anyway, just so she has everything on paper, you know, for reference. In case she forgets anything.

    In my experience (and there’s been a lot – I’ve had 4 roommates in my lifetime, and none of the 4 situations ended what I’d call “well”), I’ve found that the sooner you bring up issues, the better. Find a time, ASAP, when both of you can sit down together – in a neutral space, mind you – to discuss this. Forewarn her, and tell her that if there is anything she wants to talk about, she should bring it up at this time.

    Be clear about what you expect, and don’t back down. You shouldn’t have to make too many sacrifices here – it’s your freaking home, (usually) the only place on earth where you can control the environment, and it’s important for you to be comfortable. If she doesn’t agree, find a new roommate, or get your own place. It’s that simple.

  9. Tell her to leave, or you will. (and if you leave, she’ll have to pay for the start up of all the bills. That’s always fun.)

    I had to do that with one roommate. He didn’t understand the concept of locking doors or closing windows when nobody was in the house for long periods of time. He also burst into my room one day and refused to leave, then tried to wedge himself in the door so that i could not close it and lock him out.

    Some people are just *so* bad at living with other people. The roommate of mine that just moved out used to do the kitchen thing. Only *HE* would go away for four or five days withough cleaning up his dishes. So i either had the choice of doing them for him, or letting them sit in the sink for five days. It *PISSED ME OFF.* . . . there was also the time when the dishwasher stayed full for like.. a week. I worked 80 hours that week. I wasn’t even eating at home. The one day i went to make something and my knives were missing, so i looked in the dishwasher, because that’s where i put them when i turned the dishwasher on. They weren’t there. Turns out he had taken his knives (and mine, for some reason.) out and locked the dishwasher again. It didn’t even occur to him to empty the rest of the fucking thing. GRRRR!

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