I’ve had pretty good luck with roommates thus far. Unfortunately, that appears to be running kinda low lately. My roommate doesn’t steal from me or break my stuff or anything like that. She’s actually very kind and generous.
Unfortunately she’s a neurotic, forgetful, scattered spaz. And those of you who know me will know that I have a very very low tolerance for stupid people.
I will now commence a lengthy rant about my roommate. Hopefully she doesn’t read this (or if she does, she’ll get the hint)…
My roommate is both messy and lazy. I understand that I can’t enforce my neatnik tendencies onto everyone, and am willing to overlook a lot. But it took her SIX WEEKS to finally buy curtains for her bedroom, and another week to actually put them up before I could have my livingroom curtains back. It also took her SEVEN WEEKS to decide whether or not she was going to purchase a new bookshelf, and buy it so that the twelve boxes of shit in the livingroom could finally be unpacked.
She has lived here since May 1st, and there are still three boxes in the living room that it appears she has no intention of unpacking.
She cannot cook anything without first clearing out Save-on for ingredients (the contents of which will rot away in the fridge for a month), then using every dish in the house (which will sit on the counter for a week). Example: I went to Merritt for four measly days. The kitchen was clean when I left. I came back on Monday and the dishwasher was full (of clean dishes that hadn’t been emptied since I left), both sides of the sink were full, and the counter and stove were covered. It took 2 more loads of the dishwasherto get all the dishes clean.
Oh, speaking of the dishwasher… apparently she’s the only person on earth who is incapable of putting anything where it belongs in there. The top rack was specifically designed for bowls and glasses, the bottom for plates etc. with the cutlery basket down there. She just tosses everything in haphazardly – the result being that much of the stuff doesn’t actually get clean because the water can’t get to it.
She can’t even put the clean dishes away properly. I have only three knives that I’ve asked get any special treatment. They’re the stay-sharp kind, and I’ve asked that they get put back into their sleeves. That has yet to happen (well, it sorta happened once, when she put the smallest knife into the biggest sleeve, and ignored the other two cuz they wouldn’t fit into the other sleves).
And that’s just the kitchen. We’ve also only got one bathroom. The system with my old roommate worked well. We each had a mirror in our rooms, and we do our hair and makeup in there after showering. That way nobody is inconvenienced. This roommate can not do that. First off her room looks like the hiroshima aftermath, and it’s rare that you can get within 4 feet of her mirror (which moves around the room leaning on anything she isn’t immediately using). I don’t even really mind that so much, but she leaves so much crap on the bathroom counter that I knock something off every single time I go in there. She’ll also unplug my electric toothbrush (we’ve only got one “razor only” plug in there) to plug in her curling iron, then not plug my toothbrush back in. A very big deal when I need to brush my teeth and the brush has no power. I’ve had to start keeping a backup manual brush in there.
She also doesn’t seem to realize that stuff costs money, and she’s inconsiderate. Not that she’s ever skimped on the rent or bills, or paid late, but she’s just totally not clued in when it comes to keeping communal costs down. Example (which was the fuel for this rant in the first place): I went to work yesterday, and told her that my bedroom window (a large sliding door) was open. Could she please close it if she went anywhere. She said fine. I came home this morning (went to the bf’s house instead of home last night) to find not only my bedroom window still wide open (I’ve told her before that my insurance only covers loss with the evidence of a break in – stupidity isn’t insured, perhaps I should change that now). Not only that, but the kitchen light was on, the TV was blaring, as was her bedroom radio, and her bedroom fan (not ceiling fan, a plug in one). Does she think electricity grows on trees? Does she understand what she’s paying me for every two months when that funny bill called “Hydro” shows up?
She doesn’t even lock the doors properly. We’ve got a deadbolt as well as the doorknob lock. She’ll only lock the doorknob when she leaves (which anyone should know is pretty much useless in deterring theft). And you may think I’m being paranoid when it comes to the whole break-in thing, but our complex was targeted by that “condo burglar” in the early part of the year, and at least 8 units that I know of were burgled. Also, we’re only on the 2nd floor, and with the ground units being sunken, it’s not a huge reach to get up onto our balcony.
Well, I think that’s about all I have to say about that for now. And if anyone has any suggestions about what I do about this little freak that lives with me, please let me know.
If it bothers you so much maybe you ought to live alone. Clearly you two have different attitudes toward communal living, and it’s doubtful that you’ll ever get to an agreement. I can understand both sides, but the fact is there are actually more people out there like your roommate and you’re not likely to get someone who meets your needs next time. Try a low-budget studio situation and see how it works.
I know exactly how you feel!!! I have two roommates just like yours! Mine do not know the concept of picking up after themselves, let alone even wiping up the spills they make all over the kitchen after I just mopped. And for all the people who replied that the clean freaks need to get a life, this is for you…..I clean up my apt because I care about my things and want to keep them nice..I like to live in an area that I can walk into without catching a disease or being bitten by a large insect or small animal that is there to eat the trash thats all over the apt. It extememely immature to leave a mess in a common area thats used by others….how hard is it to pick up after yourselves!?!?!? You dont live at home anymore, your mom is not here to do it for you…and what are you going to do when u get out of school and buy a place of your own?? trash it until it just needs to be burned down and then move to a new place, only to trash it?….
Listen, I have a roommate like you right now and I would love to fix the two of you up together. I don’t care that she is a neat nik, but she is royal pain in the ass about it. It’s either her way or no way. How about you putting your charged toothbrush in your own room in its own plug. How is it the plug was designated to you (alone) in the first place?? You two are NEVER going to be alike or agree on much. You are Felix and Oscar. Be REALLY grateful she pays the bils on time. Lots of people don’t and that is far worse than her room not being as tidy as you want yours to be, MOM.
Get a life, kid or another roommate. You are two control freaks. Not everybody has to obey you. We’re grown ups now and I’ll put the knife and dishes in the dishwasher however the hell I want. You should write a rules for loading the dishwasher book…..lol……you are a real riot. Too bad the whole world won’t jump as high as you want and on time too. My heart realy bleeds for you. I have to ask this…….Do you count how many dishes you have every night – just in case she broke one and didn’t tell you. If you say yes, you have a sister, honey.
Good luck .. she’s not the problem. Good thing you have a mirror – you probably spend a lot of time in front of it.
You know, if you would just lighten up life would be SO much easier. Why was it your roommate’s responsibility to close YOUR bedroom door anyway? If you have problems with her not doing anything, assign chores and don’t do yours till she does hers. If the neatness level is a little less than ideal for you…TOUGH! Things WILL get done, just not on your precious little time scale. Seems like she’s willing to give a little so why can’t you? I’ve had roommates like you before. I had to walk on eggshells: never leave anything of mine in any common area for any amount of time, take less than my fair share of bathroom time, relegate my food to only one shelf in the fridge, etc.
I was too nice–or to weak–to protest. Maybe your past roommates were too.
Please grow up, or you will not be worthy for meaningful human contact.
With school starting soon I can imagine there are a lot of people looking for a nice clean roommate like you – tell her it’s time to go. What do you have to lose? (other than an ungrateful roomie…) 🙂
When looking for a new roommate make the house rules clearly known as one of the conditions of living in the space. Make the info as essential as rent or bills.
Good luck!
(that washroom/mirror system is a great idea!)
Well then, sounds like quite a pickle. Do you have weapons? You can obviously fire a gun, but that’s a little indelicate for this situation. No, you need to introduce her to a gang of hispanic gang-members! After they beat her into submission, they will rape her! But this is not the end of the ordeal—fuck no! During the rape they’ll keep her eyes open with toothpicks and make her watch videos of open windows, dirty dishes, generally everything that you dislike.
When they finally drop her semen-filled ass on the street (somewhere not _too_ bad. After all, she will be in a delicate frame of mind) she’ll be full of mortal terror. This is when you give her the drugs and start convincing her that you’re an angel. Or hire an actor. Even if you wear the wings, she might see through your disguise. So, then, once she’s convinced you (or the actor) are/is an angel, you tell her that this happened for a reason. Is she religious? Well, if she isn’t, maybe you could substitute the appropriate authority figure for an angel. Anyway.
OK, so, then you tell her that to avoid any further rape/torture by hispanics that she just needs to stop being such a weirdo vis-a-vis housework, etc.
Of course, you could try to go the understanding route and “write her a note” or “talk to her”, but, fuck it, is she worth the time? It doesn’t sound like she is. Remember, she’s only alive because you haven’t killed her.
I like my roommate. 🙂
On the upside, I’m also a pushy brat and if there was a problem, she’d be the first to know. Of course, we’re both pretty good about that. 🙂
This reminds me of why I live alone.
You need to talk to her. If need be (like, if her attention span is too short for her to sit down with you while you go over your expectations), write her a note. Hell, write her a note anyway, just so she has everything on paper, you know, for reference. In case she forgets anything.
In my experience (and there’s been a lot – I’ve had 4 roommates in my lifetime, and none of the 4 situations ended what I’d call “well”), I’ve found that the sooner you bring up issues, the better. Find a time, ASAP, when both of you can sit down together – in a neutral space, mind you – to discuss this. Forewarn her, and tell her that if there is anything she wants to talk about, she should bring it up at this time.
Be clear about what you expect, and don’t back down. You shouldn’t have to make too many sacrifices here – it’s your freaking home, (usually) the only place on earth where you can control the environment, and it’s important for you to be comfortable. If she doesn’t agree, find a new roommate, or get your own place. It’s that simple.
Tell her to leave, or you will. (and if you leave, she’ll have to pay for the start up of all the bills. That’s always fun.)
I had to do that with one roommate. He didn’t understand the concept of locking doors or closing windows when nobody was in the house for long periods of time. He also burst into my room one day and refused to leave, then tried to wedge himself in the door so that i could not close it and lock him out.
Some people are just *so* bad at living with other people. The roommate of mine that just moved out used to do the kitchen thing. Only *HE* would go away for four or five days withough cleaning up his dishes. So i either had the choice of doing them for him, or letting them sit in the sink for five days. It *PISSED ME OFF.* . . . there was also the time when the dishwasher stayed full for like.. a week. I worked 80 hours that week. I wasn’t even eating at home. The one day i went to make something and my knives were missing, so i looked in the dishwasher, because that’s where i put them when i turned the dishwasher on. They weren’t there. Turns out he had taken his knives (and mine, for some reason.) out and locked the dishwasher again. It didn’t even occur to him to empty the rest of the fucking thing. GRRRR!