A little while back, as I was lamenting about another attempt at love (or at least like) gone terribly wrong, Darren Barefoot asked what is my physical type anyway?
It took a lot of thought to actually figure this out, because I don’t typically think a whole lot about why I’m attracted to the guys I am, I just take it for granted that I don’t find them repulsive, and hope their personalities don’t send me running for the hills. But I figure I’ll give it a shot and give a head to toe rundown of what I like to see in a man.
1. Height: Please be taller than me in heels. That means you’re 5’10 at minimum. The shortest guy I dated was 5’8, and although the height thing wasn’t too awkward, there was nobody around to reach the stuff off the top shelves.
2. Hair: I’d like it to be present and accounted for. I’m not picky about colour, but I do like it short and clean cut. Very few men other than Jon Bon Jovi himself can pull off rockstar hair, and it’s usually sad to see them try. Anyone with hair longer than mine is automatically out. Also, I refuse to date men with hair prettier than I’ve got. On the same note, any men with prettier anything than me is just a bit unnerving. I like manly men.
3. Eyes: I’m a sucker for hazel/brown eyes. Not so brown that they’re nearly black, but not greeny hazel either. That not-quite-brown shade with darker flecks in it is a favourite of mine. I sometimes wish I could disregard all of the other sucky aspects of some of the guys I’ve met with this eye colour.
4. Nose: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY TRIM YOUR NOSE HAIRS.
5. Lips: I admit, I like a man with full lips. Not puffy collagen full, but lips that are shaped like a mouth instead of just an opening in your face. Bonus points if they’re soft. Real Men use chapstick! Also, teeth matter, they matter to me a lot. I have a hard time getting past bad teeth. I’m not saying the guy needs a toothpaste commercial smile, but teeth that are yellow, crooked, gappy, fang-y, or otherwise off will usually send me packin’. It’s my own personal neurosis.
6. Body: I like bigger guys. While not huge, I’m not small myself by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I’m freakishly average. So I like being with a guy who can make me feel tiny and precious. It’d be nice that if we found ourselves in a physically intimidating situation, we wouldn’t have to paper/rock/scissors who fights off the assailant and who screams like a girl for help. This translates to height (mentioned above) as well as a broad chest and shoulders. I like a guy built like a football player. Not that a bigger guy is necessarily a guarantee of protection – it’s the illusion of safety. Kindof like driving an SUV instead of a SmartCar. There are also things to be said for a rock-hard body, but I’m more concerned with overall build than muscles. As long as the guy is at least as healthy as I am in terms of being active and eating right, he doesn’t have to have the physique of a Chippendale dancer.
7. Private Parts: Skill can be taught. Size does matter. Not a lot, but it does.
8. Skin: please, no backne. Tattoos and Piercings are cool, but only where they’re easily covered (so no facial piercings, and no full-sleeve ink). Also (and this is where it gets controversial) I tend to prefer “white guys.” Foreign accents also don’t do it for me (no, I don’t even fall for the Aussies). I’ve just tended to have the best relationships with people with whom I share a similar social & cultural background. This isn’t to say that there aren’t a multitude of guys of different ethnic backgrounds that I find absolutely totally hot (I have a major thing for Prince, who also goes against my “pretty” rule, but I just can’t help it!), it’s just the way things have worked out so far. I don’t discriminate when dating guys – I’ve dated all different ethnicities. I also fully expect that living in such a multicultural city it’s fully possible that I’ll meet someone who I share enough similarities with to form a perfectly happy relationship, who isn’t necessarily caucasian.
9. Style: I like the preppy/metrosexual type. GQ meets Abercrombie & Fitch. Yes, he looks like the boy-next-door. I’m pretty girl-next-door myself, so it fits. Also, if he dresses like this, he’s probably likely to trim his nose hair.
You know, voices are such an important thing in the formula of attractions, so I don’t think it should be all that controversial when you dislike an accent. Hell, if it’s acceptable to like one, it should be equally acceptable to dislike one.
“Don’t even fall for Aussies”
So this part gave me a big chuckle, because of all the accents I’ve ever heard, Australian accents I find the absolute least attractive.
We so wouldn’t have the same taste in men in almost every other category (okay, totally agree with you on the nosehair thing), because if I want manly I want it all the way or the opposite end of the scale: as pretty as Prince. GQ is too much middle of the road. On that same note, I admit to having a wee bit of a fascination with green eyes.
Tall & GQ is my utter definition of boring/typical. Plus soooo hard to find someone in that category that doesn’t have the corresponding GQ ego. I know we’re talking physical type here, but personality is so often affected when someone fits too closely what media most often tells us is attractive.
But hey, we’re shopping for you here, not me. Kudos for being brave enough to put it all so detailed into words.
“7. Private Parts: Skill can be taught. Size does matter. Not a lot, but it does.”
People get mad at me whenever i say this. Although, i think that’s usually because the men who hear me say it are not particularly well endowed.
Mind you, there are still those select few who cannot be taught, but i think that has more to do with having to break their egos first. It’s amazing what a little laughing at somebody while they’re naked will do to break them of their egotistical ways.
Yes, size DOES matter! Anyone who says it doesn’t has not tried to have sex with someone who has an unbearably large penis. Ow, ow, ow.
Was that TMI? Probably, but hey, you brought it up. 😉