Say you go on a date with someone. And it comes up in conversation that you both blog. And you both mention that you don’t give the url to people you’re dating, because it just results in weirdness.
So you forget about it, and go home. And maybe a couple days later, you google the person. And they’ve written a blog entry with their full name in it. So there it is, their blog in all its bloggery glory, tempting you to read it.
Do you?
Of course you do. You just never admit to reading it.
Why didn’t you just give each other the URLs of your respective weblogs? Wouldn’t that have prevented this dilemma from happening in the first place? If someone–in any context–told me that they have a weblog but refused to tell me the URL (for any reason), that would signal to me that they had something to hide.
No.
Don’t ask what you don’t want to know… If you think you have a good start to something special, I wouldn’t read it until later, when you’ve let on that you know about it.
It’s never a good thing to read someone’s personal thoughts out of context, just as you wouldn’t want him to take your blog in without some input from you first… In my experience, it never turns out well.
(The guy should know better than to have a searchable full name though — That’s pretty silly!)
I do kind of agree with NetChick that the guy’s a bit silly if he doesn’t want new friends reading his blog, but it’s got his name on it. I mean, he can go ahead and not tell them, but then he can’t be surprised if they find it. Hell, my blog’s got my name on it, so I don’t say anything I don’t mind my parents, potential employers or potential boyfriends reading.
I agree with filmgoerjuan, read it if you want, but don’t bring it up. Since it’s on the internet, you have every right to read it. Besides, it might be good to get some background info on the guy…
I probably wouldn’t read it, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reading it. We put our words on the internet with full knowledge that none of them are private. Employers, potential lovers, family.. it’s possible that they’ll read our blogs, it’s possible that they’re already reading our blogs.
I think you should go ahead and read it, and tell him that he’s completely Google-able and so you found his blog and read it. Welcome to the new millennium, boyo. I don’t really understand why people try to hide their blog from other people in their social lives. If you really don’t want people seeing what you’ve written there, don’t bleedin’ well have your blog out there!
If that person was brave (stupid?) enough to blog with his or her full name, its public domain and therefore perfectly appropriate for you or anyone else to read.
If you really like the guy and want to have a future, you need to build that future on trust. In this case, I would say don’t read it. Also, I wouldn’t tell him that you Googled him and found it by “accident”. If you don’t want that future, then I say read it.
Well, the conversation wasn’t a “don’t read my blog” – just a mutual agreement that handing out the URL to someone who doesn’t really know you (but wants to) can steer them in the wrong direction.
And I didn’t google him specifically looking for the blog – I figured I’d see what else came up, and the blog was one of them. All he did was write his full name in one entry (from over a year ago) – obviously oblivious to how much google loves blogger.
In the end, I read part of the post that had his name in it, and the latest couple entries. When it comes right down to it, I’d rather get to know the guy than his blog.
I see “silly”, “brave” and “stupid” describing using your full name on a weblog. What about the many thousands who choose to be accountable for what they write on the Internet and elsewhere? Are they silly, brave or stupid too?
Also: I disagree with the idea that handing someone the URL of your public site necessarily leads them in the wrong direction. Unless you have something to hide, of course.
I would think it would depened on what kind of blog you have. If you have a blog where you insult your roommate and talk about people you’re dating, then I could see not having it easily google-able. If you just talk about random stuff, life observations, your views on world goings on, etc., I don’t see a problem with it.
disclaimer: I’ve never had a blog (well, had one for about a week once, then realized I didn’t care enough)
absolutely, you just don’t admit to it.
boyo didn’t try to hide the blog from anyone, but I do have to agree, reading things out of the context of the time and place in which they were written, not generally a good idea.
and well, admit it, why not? what have you to lose? Gonna start a potential relationship off with mistrust? 😉
That said, she did admit it…