I am sick of being the Turnaround Girlâ„¢.
What is the Turnaround Girlâ„¢ you ask? She’s the one who is a really fantastic catch herself, and seems to end up with nothing but idiots. This is because of her innate ability to make her partner feel fabulous about himself, and in return, he turns into a fully datable member of the male species.
The problem is, while Turnaround Girlâ„¢ is dating a guy, she’s putting up with all the bullshit he came into the relationship with. The jackassery, the low self-confidence, the baggage, the complete lack of skill in bed. But instead of seeing all this and running screaming like so many before her, she sees the diamond in the rough. And polishes it up. And by the time that is done, she’s usually so covered in coal dust herself, that the diamond has lost any appeal.
But he’s completely turned around and is a fabulous catch for whoever dates him next. Great. Most of the time he even calls a few months later to thank her for making him realize what a better man he’s become.
Can’t I just have someone after they’ve had their turnaround relationship? Someone who knows what their best self is, and wants to be that for me? Is that too much to ask?
Does that make the loser guys Fixer-Upper Boys?
Uhm, as for your last question. You know, there’s competition.
Jackassery.. hah. I love that.
I hear you. In a related category, I seem to be caught in the “not good enough” dating pattern. Every single guy I’ve dated seriously has gone on to marry the VERY next girlfriend. Does loads for my self-esteem, lemme tell you.
I keep dating women who need a turnaround. And a therapist. And a parole officer.
Damned If I Know
Maybe it might be time to stop dating guys that need fixing up so badly? The point is, if you keep looking at changing whoever you’re with to fit your standards, then you’ll be forever destined to be a Turnaround Girl. Successful relationships involve appreciating the good and accepting the not so good in each other. There are a lot of guys out there that have plenty of the good qualities that are important if a few of the bad ones (that are maybe not so important and makes them easily dismissable from dating consideration) are overlooked.
Darren: They really are fixer-upper boys. If this were a flipping game in real-estate, I’d be a millionaire!
Jason: My problem is that thus far I’ve been far too willing to overlook far too much. The past little while though, I’ve been much pickier in what I’ll overlook and what I won’t. It seems to be working so far.
You definitely shouldn’t have to be that girl. I hope something less turnaroundish comes your way.