Large Disapointment the First

I’ve spent a few months now living in the Land of Responsible Choices, and really, since I rescinded my citizenship to the Land of AND, I haven’t had to face any choices that I’ve found particularly tough to work through.

Until now.

I am not going to Germany.

I’m sure many of you are now asking “but Jen, I have heard nothing about this, why on earth would you have considered going to Germany in February?”

Believe me, it’s not my ideal winter vacation. But Neil is going for work, and he happens to be going to a city in Germany that is a 20-minute drive from where the majority of my maternal relatives live in the Netherlands. With his airfare, hotel and per diem covered, we would only have to cover my flight and any extra meals & excursions we would take.

When we lived in the Land of AND, this is one of those instances where we’d add “just a bit more” to our Line of Credit, and “take care of the balance next month.” And conveniently forget about all the other times we’ve done just that, and the large amount we need to pay off already.

I’d drain our newly formed savings account for the plane ticket (funny, nobody flies the cheap charters to Europe in the middle of winter), and we’d put those pesky extra excursion costs on the Visa. While we wouldn’t put ourselves into danger of missing our mortgage payment or anything, it would not follow our newly set budget and goals.

Now, living in the Land of Responsible Choices, we’ve realized that while it would be a good opportunity if we were debt-free, it’s not a good opportunity if it derails our ability to be debt-free by the end of the year. Which it would. So I stay home.

And I say this all very matter-of-factly, but in actuality, I’m highly disappointed. It’s never easy to have to cancel something out that you’ve pumped yourself up about and started planning for. I’m working very hard on convincing myself that I’ll be okay with this.

I’m consoling myself by remembering this means I’ll be in town to go to Northern Voice, which I’ve missed the past couple years. And we’ll still be on-track to pay off our debt, after which time we’ll have the financial freedom to go to Germany pretty much whenever we want (preferably when it’s not the bleak midwinter).

But in the meantime, if any of you are around the last week of February and first week of March, and want to take some time to cheer me up and keep me company while I’m flying solo, the distraction (and perhaps some praise of how virtuous I’m being in my responsibility) would be very welcome!

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